I Am Curious George

I've loved Curious George all my life. First, he is a monkey, and monkeys are inherently fascinating and hip. Second, he is curious. Gets himself into trouble galore, but never because he's truly "naughty," but rather because he is just plain curious. Then again, his curiosity is what makes him lovable and memorable. Without it, he'd just be George, a primate being illegally housed by a rather strange fellow who insists on wearing only yellow. The curiosity makes him an icon.

I wouldn't place myself in "icon" status (yet--I mean, c'mon, I'm not even 30 yet), but I do relate to that little monkey in the boundless curiosity and fascination he had with the world and creatures around him. And I'm in good company, as Frederic Premji at BlogMotivation points out in his 22 Great Quotes On Curiosity.

It's Friday! That means it's a double-quote day!



The Optimist: "I have no friends, no family, no money, no food, no job, no credit, no luck, no hope, and no future. However, I do have matches, toothpicks, chewing gum, paper clips, rubber bands, shoelaces, and Scotch Tape. Maybe things aren't so bad."



"Never buy two different garments of the same type at the same time, such as two sport shirts. Inevitably, you will like one better than the other and you will choose to wear it every time. The second one will always remain second choice and it will stay in the closet, coming out only occasionally, when you hold it in front of you at arms' length and decide not to wear it. Here's how you handle this problem: Exercise a little discipline at the store and buy just one shirt. Then, if you like it, wait a month and buy another. That's it. Next, I'm gonna work on nuclear proliferation."

[I especially like this quote because it is so true. Whether it's jeans, notepads, hair clips, socks... if I buy more than one, I always end up favoring one of them and using it far more than the other, which means I could've saved the money from the second one and just bought the first, favored one. But there are a few occasions when the second one is the favored one--so then what?]



--George Carlin

"Sometimes, when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back."



--George Carlin

"Whenever I see a large group of people, I wonder how many of them will eventually require autopsies."



--George Carlin

"A good motto to live by: 'Always try not to get killed.' "



--George Carlin

"A children's museum sounds like a good idea, but I would imagine it's not easy to breathe inside those little glass cases."

--George Carlin

This week we will be enjoying the wit and (sometimes questionable) wisdom of George Carlin.

On the topic of parental bumper stickers he'd like to see:
" 'We are the proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is such that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.' That would be refreshing.
'We are the proud parents of a child who has resisted his teacher's attempts to break his spirit and bend him to the will of his corporate masters.' A little Marxist, but what's wrong with that?"

Have you had your Denny Crane / Alan Shore moment today?

Brad Chase: Uh, I think that's my seat.
Alan Shore: Yes, I did see someone's things here. I moved them to a less desirable location.

Brad: I outrank you.
Alan: And I'm such a slut for authority.

Denny Crane: May I express a thought, because I so rarely get one... and I should preface this by saying that I'm so far up the ass of big business I view the world as one giant colon.

Denny: Now, Alan, if all else fails and you think you've lost, pretend you've won! Works for our President.

Alan: Let me tell you two things about myself. I too am a lawyer, I can be painfully vindictive, and I do not play fair.
Lester Tremont: That's three things.
Alan: See? Not playing fair already. And I'm just getting started.

Alan: You know, we have a little saying in Massachusetts: "Maybe someday you'll get horribly sick and die."

Judge Sean O'Byrne: I find it insulting to be lectured by an American about the environment.
Denny: Watch it, Judge. We're a superpower. Don't make us add you to the axis.

Denny: Did something happen? ... Was I in the room when it happened?

Sally Heep: Is that fair?
Alan: I don't understand the question.

Denny: Ban red meat--that cannot pass constitutional mustard.
Shirley Schmidt: The word is "muster," Denny, but you're right, the law lacks condiments.

Denny: You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says, "Who's that?" St. Peter says, "Oh, that's God. He thinks he's Denny Crane."

Ferrets are for people who can't commit to an animal and they just want something that looks weird.
--Turner, on WBYR 98.9 FM's morning show

I think the physical presence of scratchable vinyl or unspoolable tapes, or the extremely kitten-vulnerable compact disc, is what gave us -- particularly Metallica -- the idea that sounds are something you can hold in your hand. I think that's why kids don't get intellectual property fighting, because songs don't exist in three dimensions again, which means the argument takes place across a line that's impossible to explain, and results in the parties talking about two different things entirely. As ever, I side with the kids.

--Jacob, in Television Without Pity's American Idol 6: Top 4 Performances Recap